Diagnosis: Midlife – Wait… What?!

In the face of inevitable mortality, shortcomings of achievements, sagging knees and unfulfilled hopes and dreams—what do you expect? Of course, I’m suffering from a midlife crisis. I’m not only swimming in it, I’m diving in it against my will without an oxygen tank. In fact, I’m surprised if anyone my age is not.

Sleep lines and achy knees

Yes, I’m seriously struggling to try to come to terms with getting old.

I don’t like the fact that I no longer can eat whatever I want without putting on 17 pounds immediately.

I really, really would like to party all night long and not look like an exploded poodle the next morning (and the next).

It would be truly great to be able to walk down a long hill without achy knees.

What’s really frustrating that it takes half a day for sleep lines to fade off my face.

I wouldn’t want to be 18 again. At least I don’t think I would?

The doors are closing, one by one

The most horrible thing of all? We are all going to die!

What I’d like by far the most is that if I could have back the feeling that most doors in my life are still open instead of having to watch them close—permanently—one-by-one.

The genuinely weird thing about all this is that I wouldn’t want to be 18 again. At least I don’t think I would?

I mean, of course I wouldn’t mind the smooth skin and the perky boobs that I once had. I also wouldn’t mind it if perms came back in fashion—I truly preferred my hair that way.

And I miss the busy social life that I enjoyed in my teens and early 20s.

Wait, why exactly wouldn’t I want to be 18 again? I forget.

My nearly 50-year-old brain in a twenty-something body? Yes, that would be best.

How did I get here so fast?

Fifty. Five-zero. 50.

Nope—however many times I say it, it doesn’t’ feel any more real. I honestly don’t know how I got here so fast. Did the same happen to you?

Dear friends and strangers, there is so much that needs to be said about midlife that I don’t quite know where to even begin.

There are all those broken marriages, infuriating teenagers and soon, empty nests. Ageing parents and ageing brains. The weird world of online dating and careers that long ago ceased mean anything. Deaths of loved ones. Losing the sense of meaning, and perhaps finding it again somewhere unexpected.

I’m not saying that all this has happened to me (yet), but quite a bit certainly has. One of these days I’ll share with you a story or a few.

With love,
PL, your Midlife Advocate

PS: Want to share your story? Read here, how it’s done. We’d love to hear from you!